


A Fan's Song ReWrites

by chocoholic6otaku



Category: Music RPF
Genre: Harry Potter References, Little Mermaid Elements, Multiple Crossovers, Music, Other, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-04-29 20:59:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5142266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocoholic6otaku/pseuds/chocoholic6otaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am rewriting a bunch of songs to suit any fandom I like. I have no idea when I will stop or update. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Harry Potter and Shania Twain

"That Don't Impress Me Much"

I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart  
But you've got being posh down to an art  
You think you're a god-you drive me up the wall  
You're a regular original, a know-it-all  
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special  
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else

Okay, so you're a Pureblood  
That don't impress me much  
So you got the blood but have you got the touch  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night  
That don't impress me much

I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket  
And a comb up his sleeve-just in case  
And all that extra hold gel in your hair oughtta lock it  
'Cause Heaven forbid it should fall outta place

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special  
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else

Okay, so you're a Malfoy  
That don't impress me much  
So you got the looks but have you got the touch  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night  
That don't impress me much

You're one of those guys who likes to shine his machine  
You make me take off my shoes before you let me get on  
I can't believe you kiss your broom good night  
C'mon baby tell me-you must be jokin', right!

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special  
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else

Okay, so you've got a Firebolt  
That don't impress me much  
So you got the moves but have you got the touch  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night

That don't impress me much  
You think you're cool but have you got the touch  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
But that won't keep me warm on the long, cold, lonely night  
That don't impress me much

Okay, so what do you think you're Merlin or something...  
Oo-Oh-Oh  
That don't impress me much!

Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-No  
Alright! Alright!

You're Lockhart!  
Albus Dumbledore maybe.  
Harry Potter.  
Whatever!  
That don't impress me much!


	2. My Little Mermaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am not a mermaid, and this is my song to the sea.

Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?  
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?  
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl  
The girl who has everything?

See this alcove, treasures untold  
How many wonders can one bedroom hold?  
Looking around here you'd think  
Sure, she's got everything

I've got seashells and pebbles a plenty  
I've got pictures and posters galore  
You want sand dollars? I've got twenty!  
But who cares? No big deal,  
I want more

I wanna be where the sea creatures are  
I wanna see, wanna see them swimming!

Gliding around on those  
What the word? Oh, current.

Walking around won't get you far  
Tails are required for swimming, surfing  
Floating along a  
What's it called again?  
Photic zone

Down where they swim, down where they soar  
Down where they stay all day in the shore  
Gliding and free  
Wish I could be, part of that world

What would I give if I could live  
In those waters?  
What would I pay to spend a day  
Warm on the sand?

Betcha' in sea, they'd let me be  
Bet they don't crush other's dreams  
Free of branding, sick of standing  
Ready to swim

And ready to know what the oceans know  
Ask 'em my questions  
And get some answers  
What's upwelling and why does it - what's the word?  
Churn

When's it my turn?  
Wouldn't I adore, adore to be below shore?  
Into of the sea  
Wish I could be  
Part of that world


	3. Anything You Can Do (Modernish version)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A modern-ish take on the song.
> 
> This is a duet wherein the two singing are almost singing on top of each other, so to tell who sings what I italicized what (in my head) is usually the female part.
> 
> I will probably do a few variations of this song but this is the generic one.

Anything You Can Do

 

_Anything you can do,_

_I can do better._

_I can do anything_

_Better than you._

 

No, you can't.

 _Yes, I can._ No, you can't.

 _Yes, I can._ No, you can't.

_Yes, I can,_

_Yes, I can!_

 

Anything you can be

I can be greater.

Sooner or later,

I'm greater than you.

 

 _No, you're not._ Yes, I am.

 _No, you're not._ Yes, I am.

 _No, you're NOT!._ Yes, I am.

Yes, I am!

 

I can text a dozen friends

Faster than this sentence ends.

_I can post twenty tweets,_

_All without any post repeats_.

I can live on shakes and fries.

_And only on that?_

Yes.

_Enjoy being fat!_

 

_Any note you can reach_

_I can go higher._

_I can sing anything_

_Higher than you._

No, you can't. (High)

 _Yes, I can. (Higher)_ No, you can't. (Higher)

 _Yes, I can. (Higher)_ No, you can't. (Higher)

 _Yes, I can. (Higher)_ No, you can't. (Higher)

 _Yes, I can. (Higher)_ No, you can't. (Higher)

_Yes, I CAN! (Highest)_

 

Anything you can buy

I can buy cheaper.

I can buy anything

Cheaper than you.

 

_Fifty bucks?_

Forty bucks! _Thirty bucks?_

Twenty bucks! _No, you can't!_

Yes, I can,

Yes, I can!

 

_Anything you can say_

_I can say softer._

_I can say anything_

_Softer than you._

No, you can't. (Softly)

 _Yes, I can. (Softer)_ No, you can't. (Softer)

 _Yes, I can. (Softer)_ No, you can't. (Softer)

_Yes, I can. (Softer)_

_YES, I CAN! (Full volume)_

 

I can drink my liquor

Faster than a flicker.

_I can drink it quicker_

_And get even sicker!_

I can get into a-ny-thing.

_Without getting caught?_

Sure.

_That's what I thought--_

_you crook!_

 

Any note you can hold

I can hold longer.

_I can hold any note_

_Longer than you._

 

No, you can't. 

_Yes, I can_ No, you can't.

 _Yes, I can_ No, you can't.

_Yes, I can_

_Yes, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I (as long as possible)_ _can (no air left)_

Yes, you ca-a-a-an!

 

_Anything you can wear_

_I can wear better._

_In what you wear_

_I'd look better than you._

In my shirt?

 _In your pants!_ In my shoes?

 _In your hat!_ No, you can't!

_Yes, I can_

_Yes, I CAN!_

Anything you say

I can say faster.

I can say anything

Faster than you.

_No, you can't. (Fast)_

Yes, I can. (Faster) _No, you can't. (Faster)_

Yes, I can. (Faster) _Noyoucan't. (Faster)_

YesIcan! (Fastest)

I can jump a hurdle.

_I can wear a girdle._

 

I can knit a sweater.

_I can fill it better!_

I can do most anything!

 _Can you bake a pie?_ No.

_Neither can I._

Anything you can sing

I can sing sweeter.

I can sing anything

Sweeter than you.

_No, you can't. (Sweetly)_

Yes, I can. (Sweeter) _No, you can't. (Sweeter)_

Yes, I can. (Sweeter) _No, you can't. (Sweeter)_

Yes, I can. (Sweeter) _No, you can't, can't, can't (sweeter)_

Yes, I can, can, can (Sugary)

 

Yes, I can! _No, you_ can't!  
(sung at the same time)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up changing less than I thought... oh well! I had fun adapting and singing it! I hope you do as well!


End file.
